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B Schooled Episode # 2
The Curious Case of ‘Cp’
Apprehension had never been a friend of Joey’s; although, it had forever been a not so treasured companion. The paranoia of not living up to the norms of a prematurely self defined convention isn’t exactly a great feeling to harbor. In the same breath, giving in to convention is also not something to be proud of.
Anyhow, a few months back Joey realized a lifelong dream (clichéd line #1) of getting into a B school. Unlike most of his peers who got through, he was more than happy dwelling in the anticipation rather than preparing for the rigors of the actual ‘MBA grad in making’ life. The excitement of his peers, the lack of any iota of clarity (on his side), and the curse of being an introvert were already knocking on the thin walls of his ‘palace of paranoia’. But he knew that there was a bigger demon, lurking in the shadows (clichéd line #2) – one that he had managed to keep dormant. This demon was called CP – as affectionately abbreviated for ‘class participation’.
For someone who had a diarrhea of words to write, a verbal constipation seems ironical; But irony had embellished every day of Joey’s life and failed to surprise him anymore. On his way to the classroom (for the first class at college), he tried to think of the last time he had asked a question in class. Images came flooding into Joey’s mind. But these images were those of him writing gibberish on the wooden desks, being admonished for his behavior, and bad mouthing people who were the ‘academically vocal’ kinds, in class. The only times Joey had ever raised his hand was to ask for a ‘loo break’. Never had either of his perfectly functioning and dexterous limbs been raised for anything but to ask permission to be servile to nature and its brutality.
All I need is a start, Joey thought, “And then I would be killing it with a capital K”. Have you ever tried feeding fish?? If you have, you would know that there’s always this one runt that despite its attempts doesn’t satiate its hunger – “Joey was that runt”. His attempts to catch the prof’s attention were obscured by the zillion hands raised in front of him. He did it all, the left handed confident swaggered hand raise, putting his right hand to my heart and raising his left hand chanting “we the people”. He might even have sported the devil sign one occasion (long live metal) and the fascist roman hand gesture on another (pssst… Joey is not a fascist). But nothing could get the prof to take interest in what Joey had to say. And then the guy sitting next to him, who was hogging most of the CP limelight, said, “Dude it’s all about speed, you need to make sudden movements to attract attention.” Joey was pretty sure that he heard ‘masai mara’ drums playing somewhere, as he cleverly formulated a ‘strategy’ (‘law of the land’ cliché) to make the kill. And then, after rehearsal # 23, in his mind, Joey was ready. He took a deep breath and told himself, “Boy this is your moment”!!! His Balboa like confidence was visible, as he took it upon himself to conquer this ‘Appolo’ called CP.
After due deliberation and then a lot more and then a little more, he finally delivered his “southpawed” sucker punch. At the speed of an IITians mind (psssst… I have nothing against iitians) he moved his hand, and then waited with a ‘this is SPARRRTTAAA’ look of determination on his face. Needless to say he waited for a long time – Joey’s moment never came. What good is a story without a happy ending??? The prof did notice him, and then nodded in affirmation, giving him a chance to speak. Joey was barely done with his ‘aaaaarrrrgggg’ mannerism when he realized that the ‘nod’ was for the girl sitting behind him, to speak. The whole situation wasn’t new to Joey, many a time he had been subjected to these taunts of irony. /QUICK-FLASHBACK – it was third grade and he thought that the pretty girl was smiling at him and you know what happened next /QUICKFLASHBACK. Anyhow, back in the present times, Joey sat there with a now perennial dejected look on his face, (read episode#14 – Poker face for more on the ‘look’), wondering if this was to be the story of his year. Later that day, as he sat in contemplation, he could hear my inner self crying out, “ YOU FOOL, YOU FOOL, YOU FOOL” and he muffled “
I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED.
The Curious Case of ‘Cp’
Apprehension had never been a friend of Joey’s; although, it had forever been a not so treasured companion. The paranoia of not living up to the norms of a prematurely self defined convention isn’t exactly a great feeling to harbor. In the same breath, giving in to convention is also not something to be proud of.
Anyhow, a few months back Joey realized a lifelong dream (clichéd line #1) of getting into a B school. Unlike most of his peers who got through, he was more than happy dwelling in the anticipation rather than preparing for the rigors of the actual ‘MBA grad in making’ life. The excitement of his peers, the lack of any iota of clarity (on his side), and the curse of being an introvert were already knocking on the thin walls of his ‘palace of paranoia’. But he knew that there was a bigger demon, lurking in the shadows (clichéd line #2) – one that he had managed to keep dormant. This demon was called CP – as affectionately abbreviated for ‘class participation’.
For someone who had a diarrhea of words to write, a verbal constipation seems ironical; But irony had embellished every day of Joey’s life and failed to surprise him anymore. On his way to the classroom (for the first class at college), he tried to think of the last time he had asked a question in class. Images came flooding into Joey’s mind. But these images were those of him writing gibberish on the wooden desks, being admonished for his behavior, and bad mouthing people who were the ‘academically vocal’ kinds, in class. The only times Joey had ever raised his hand was to ask for a ‘loo break’. Never had either of his perfectly functioning and dexterous limbs been raised for anything but to ask permission to be servile to nature and its brutality.
All I need is a start, Joey thought, “And then I would be killing it with a capital K”. Have you ever tried feeding fish?? If you have, you would know that there’s always this one runt that despite its attempts doesn’t satiate its hunger – “Joey was that runt”. His attempts to catch the prof’s attention were obscured by the zillion hands raised in front of him. He did it all, the left handed confident swaggered hand raise, putting his right hand to my heart and raising his left hand chanting “we the people”. He might even have sported the devil sign one occasion (long live metal) and the fascist roman hand gesture on another (pssst… Joey is not a fascist). But nothing could get the prof to take interest in what Joey had to say. And then the guy sitting next to him, who was hogging most of the CP limelight, said, “Dude it’s all about speed, you need to make sudden movements to attract attention.” Joey was pretty sure that he heard ‘masai mara’ drums playing somewhere, as he cleverly formulated a ‘strategy’ (‘law of the land’ cliché) to make the kill. And then, after rehearsal # 23, in his mind, Joey was ready. He took a deep breath and told himself, “Boy this is your moment”!!! His Balboa like confidence was visible, as he took it upon himself to conquer this ‘Appolo’ called CP.
After due deliberation and then a lot more and then a little more, he finally delivered his “southpawed” sucker punch. At the speed of an IITians mind (psssst… I have nothing against iitians) he moved his hand, and then waited with a ‘this is SPARRRTTAAA’ look of determination on his face. Needless to say he waited for a long time – Joey’s moment never came. What good is a story without a happy ending??? The prof did notice him, and then nodded in affirmation, giving him a chance to speak. Joey was barely done with his ‘aaaaarrrrgggg’ mannerism when he realized that the ‘nod’ was for the girl sitting behind him, to speak. The whole situation wasn’t new to Joey, many a time he had been subjected to these taunts of irony. /QUICK-FLASHBACK – it was third grade and he thought that the pretty girl was smiling at him and you know what happened next /QUICKFLASHBACK. Anyhow, back in the present times, Joey sat there with a now perennial dejected look on his face, (read episode#14 – Poker face for more on the ‘look’), wondering if this was to be the story of his year. Later that day, as he sat in contemplation, he could hear my inner self crying out, “ YOU FOOL, YOU FOOL, YOU FOOL” and he muffled “
I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED.
Rakesh Malayattil
Class of 2015